Why do People Have Affairs or use Drugs

Why People Have Affairs or Use Drugs


Because they are missing something or are hurting inside.

Why? or What?

Lets back up a bit.

In the Bible the first book of the Bible is Genesis.  It talks about how God created the universe, our planet, the animals and man, then woman.  God first created Adam and it was just the two of them.  They walked together and talked together.  They were friends.

Then God gave Adam a job or career, which was to take care of the Garden of Eden and to name all of the animals.  As time went on Adam did not find a good helper, and he was still lonely.  Then God had Adam go into a deep sleep and God took one of Adam’s ribs and created a helper suitable for Adam.  Adam called her woman, because she came out of man and her name was Eve.

So how does that apply to people who seek satisfaction within other relationships, or activities?

Well God is a spirit, and when man was created, man was created with different parts to his being.
Man is a soul, which has a spirit, that lives in a body and is fueled by his heart. (As does woman.)

There is a certain part within every person that can ONLY be filled by a personal relationship with God.  Because that is how GOD created us from the beginning.   Cultures do not teach this, yet almost every culture across all of time had some sort of religion no matter what century or continent they lived on.  People are always trying to connect with their spiritual side.

Few find the deep down joyful satisfaction and contentment of what it is to see the value within yourself that God sees.  Rarely do cultures teach this.  Thus the void that people have within themselves they try to full with other people or with other things.  This is NOT limited to people who have affairs or go from one relationship to another.  Nor is this limited to people who use and are addicted to drugs (illegal, prescribed, or even drinks and foods).  This also includes people who are obsessive with hobbies, work, of things they own or want to acquire

How to understand this.

First realize that whomever is struggling (with one or many of these areas) is still valued and loved very much by GOD.  God sent His Son to show us how much He values us and loves us, as well as those around us.  GOD did NOT send Jesus to die on the cross for trash, thus no one is garbage in GOD’s EYES … no matter how they may feel about themselves.

There are some people who do not care about living by life’s rules.  There are others who tried to do what they were told to do to be a good citizen within the culture they grew up in, yet they still feel an empty void within them that leaves them felling lonely and not appreciated or even valued.

People look at situations where they can be loved and accepted.  SO at times it can be by someone else who either sees value in them or can fulfill a need within their life.  Many times people will do things contrary to what they wanted to do, but they did it because they wanted to be loved and accepted.  Yet despite the struggles they go through rarely do they see themselves as “good” enough to be loved by God.

They do not see themselves of having more value than a small kitten, puppy or even a baby who cannot take care of themselves, yet they are also not expected to be not creating messes where ever they go.  God sees the spirits within us as precious as a baby.  There are many amazing traits that are within every individual, and God has hopes and dreams for them to grow into amazing people for Him.  Yet many do not know where to turn, nor do they understand how to tap into that acceptance.  Thus they resort to other things around them.

How to overcome this.

There may be parts of this that touch your soul about yourself.  There may be parts of this that touch your soul for someone else.  Realize that people DO NOT care about what you have to say about GOD’s love when they hear your words attacking them.  Also please remember they are not your’s … but they are GOD’s.  Jesus paid the price for their redemption.  Just as Jesus paid the price for your redemption.

Help yourself to be an over-comer –

PLEASE Realize there is no-one and no-thing that can ever fill the part of your being that ONLY GOD can fill.  Thus forget about those around you for a moment.  Do you want to look to God for help? Or to others around you?

Hopefully you are trying to choose to look to God.  Honestly in the end it does not matter what you or someone else thinks, it is what God perceives about how you try.  He understands your limits, your frailties and your weaknesses.  He also knows your strengths and the good things within you that no one else sees, yet you wish those around understood better.

So to better develop what you need to between you and God is two things.

  • The greatest Commandment
  • and the second is like unto it

IF you do NOT know what those are, keep reading.  IT works best if you just focus on the first one, then you will have a better understanding of the second one.  Moses gave the ten commandments in Deuteronomy chapter 5.  Then in Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 5 says “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”

In Matthew 22:35-39 a religious leader asked Jesus which is the greatest commandment in all the law.  Jesus answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  ALL the laws of the prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Thus you cannot have another idol above God or use His name in vain if you are trying to love Him with everything you have.

Selfishness is a love of self – but 98% of the time it is a bad love of self.  Selfishness is when people think of theirselves, their own wants needs and desires over others.  And a lot of times they end up hurting others as a result.  Some cultures promote selfish lifestyles, for example, if it feels good, do it, or if it makes you happy then do it.  Now not all selfishness is bad.  So if you are going to purchase a vehicle picking one color over another is not necessarily selfish (if it is beyond your means, then it is).  If you choose an apple to eat over chips that is not necessarily selfish.  If there is fighting with someone else – then there is selfishness on both side.  (side note – rarely can anyone fight without both parties being selfish to some degree.)

Over coming this within yourself is to understand how YOU can love God better.
And if you do not know how to, then ask Him.


Help others to become over-comers

Again remember you cannot own people.  People can commit to each other.  People families and can raise children.  Bosses can employ people.  Churches have (or should have) congregations who feel like family.  Yet none of those supersedes a person’s free will to make their own choices, thus we cannot own others.  Some cultures there is still slavery today, yet that ‘owner ship’ still does not supersede the price Jesus paid to redeem someone and have their soul belong to God.

Also understand God loves that person more than you do or can.  It hurts him just as much as it may hurt you to watch someone make bad choices.  Your struggles may be with one or a few individuals, yet God struggles with this everyday with many many individuals, and has been for thousands of years.

Some times it can be hard to not talk to them about how they they are hurting themselves or others around them.  Yet God ALWAYS answers prayers according to HIS will and HIS word.  Thus IF you pray HIS will over someone, then God is given the power to do what He desperately yearns to do.  He gave us free will to choose to love Him, yet rarely does He feel like the love within someone’s heart is equivalent to the words someone may say.  IF they even say they love God.

Yet God will try up until a person’s death bed to have them ask God to accept them and to have Him love them.  Stories tell of how even when someone seemed unresponsive on their death bed, they were told about how God still loves them, and even when there was NO movement any where on their body, tears would still roll down their cheeks as they choose to accept God’s Love for them.

First you NEED to understand how to love God with all your heart, your soul and your mind – then you can start to help other people understand that is the secret to having a successful relationship with God.  Then pray and ask God to help the other person love God more.  You can also pray for yourself, as well as others that God opens the doors HE wants opened and to close the doors HE wants closed.


What to strive for

Please do not judge them, because there are many things they do not even know about themselves, just as there are things that you do not know about yourself.  Know that ONLY GOD knows the most tender, the most harden and the most complex parts within a person’s heart.

WHAT IF – you choose to judge someone about what you think, perceive or know, and then on judgement day you have to face GOD and HE tells you what you did was wrong, and you twisted HIS words … Do you really want to take that chance?

Please understand we are ALL perfectly imperfectly made.
Thus through our imperfections God’s perfections can be glorified.

We want people to love us unconditionally … yet ironically many times we have conditions for others so we can love them or accept them.  NOTE – loving someone does not equate trusting them.  And not trusting someone does not justify refusing to love someone.

Beyond that, understand there is an amazing joy that is beyond understanding.  The only way to attain it, is to have a personal relationship where you choose to try to love GOD with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.  And when in doubt, pray by simply saying, God please help me love you better.  (And or)  God Please help ____________ love you better.


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